i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
if i died would you start the facebook group?
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
