It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
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