YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
Randomize
