i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
