I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
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