He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
Randomize
