so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
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