You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
Randomize