the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
I am spending my child support on dildos
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
Randomize
