Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
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