Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
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