He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
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