escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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