There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
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