I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
