Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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