I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
Randomize
