Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
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