So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
Randomize
