I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
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