Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
