Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
I just gift wrapped bread.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
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