my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize