I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
Randomize
