can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
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