i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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