Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
Randomize
