so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
Randomize
