I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
Randomize
