She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
Randomize
