ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
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