even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
I need to align my fucking chakras
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
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