Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
Randomize
