honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
Randomize