now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
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