I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
Randomize
