I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
Randomize
