Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Randomize
