I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
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