he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
Randomize
