there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
