Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
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