nut hugger
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
Randomize
