i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Randomize
