Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Randomize
