I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
Randomize
