You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Randomize
