she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
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