Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
