I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
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