I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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