am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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