He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
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