Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
last night i told the bartender i only have 3 days left to live so i wouldnt have to pay for drinks
this morning i woke up with a nothing but a pair of what i believe are fairy wings on - and the bartender in my bed
he thinks ill be dead by monday and still came home w me.. WTF?
messed up. what color are the wings?
well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
Slut skills are useful in every country.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
Randomize