i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
I would ride that face into the sunset
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
Randomize
