She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
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