Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Randomize
