Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
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