Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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