Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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