And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
