weddingsv make me drug and hornr
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
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