I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
Randomize
