why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
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