I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
Randomize
