glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
It's like God shit irony all over that family
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
Randomize
