So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
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