I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
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